I really think therapy is the answer. His behavior went from computer porn to sex online, then to phone contact to sex on phone, and finally to meeting strangers for sex. And since he hasn't seen her in 4 years, it is unreasonable for him to suddenly think he can exercise it as decided 4 years ago. Brette's Answer: If that is what he plans and it violates the order you should go back to court and have it straightened out there if at all possible because the last thing you want is for him to call the police and have to try to get them to understand. And do I have to let them go? His visits were taken away 6 years ago and he is asking for visits again. What age can she voice her opinion on not going if court orders visits again? Will he get visitation just because I filed for child support? You need to consult with your attorney. You can tell the judge how important you believe visitation is and how think it is important for your kids to have a relationship with their father and that you would never stand in the way of that. What is a realistic visitation schedule for an infant? It was a very abusive situation and a few incidents involved the children (they are still very scared of him). Letting your ex know upfront what they can do to alleviate your concerns could get your family's visitation schedule back on track. Your other option is to take her to see a therapist who could potentially testify that this arrangement is in some way harming her. If your son is truly miserable there, then you could seek to have visitation modified, perhaps reducing the length of time he is there. What can I do if he gives her foods that trigger her allergies? He is now ten months old and still very breast milk dependent. Brette's Answer: Visitation could be arranged so they are never in the same home at the same time. Also, during my son's father's visitation time, if father is going away for the weekend, does he have the right to leave my son with his family instead of just leaving him at home with me? Ann's Question: My ex is under a temporary restraining order. If it continues you could also contact child protective services and it could be the basis of a neglect case against him. You don't need an attorney in family court. Ashlie's Question: Can I legally pick my kids up from their fathers sister if she has temporary legal custody if there have been no visitation right established? I noticed some things that I packed for my daughter over at his uncle's house and was given the impression that the kids spent the night with him. He was put on lithium about 3 years ago, but has not taken his medicine because he thinks he doesn't need it. Chanel's Question: A month after my husband moved out, I found out that he has a girlfriend who stays the night. If the order sets out specific visitation times, they must be adhered to. Brette's Answer: File for enforcement and violation of the order. If he would be safe, then this really should be up to him. Brette's Answer: The first thing I would ask you is if your daughter likes to spend time with her dad. After six years together, he moved out and moved in with a girlfriend. I remarried five years ago and two years ago we moved out of state for my husband to have a better job. I would spend a lot of time talking about night time - what will he do if she is afraid or can't sleep? Brette's Answer: No he may not alter the court ordered visitation unless the mother is in agreement. He is now 12 years old and I have attempted to have contact with him, but his dad refuses. What you might consider doing is creating a plan that will gradually allow him to be alone with her. He is visiting less and less, but has his parents pick our daughter up for his visits and he does not come to see her. Can I request in our paperwork that he have his own room? Maybe if he didn't have to go every single weekend and all summer he might be able to cope a little better. Samantha's Question: If there is no court order in place, can one parent stop the other one from seeing the child (my daughter's father is refusing to allow me to contact her. Can I pick up my kids if my sister-in-law has temporary custody? Julie's Question: My children's biological father has alienated himself from my kids (he has not seen them in over three years) and is attempting to shift the blame onto me by falsely accusing me of what sounds like PAS. I want to be sure I am thinking of everything to bring up. Brette's Answer: You can file a petition for modification. It states in my order no romantic companion at all. I'm angry and scared he might do more than that if I am not around. Leanne's Question: I recently filed for child support against my ex. Actually, it's quite common for children to have problems going back and forth between parents, no matter what their age. Your time with your children is your time. I finally broke out of my codependent stupor and started separation proceedings. Amy's Question: What happens if the judge ordered me to show a lease for proper residence for my children but I don’t have one, even though I told her I do? Debbie's Question: My husband thinks he can make me give up my plans because he wants to take the kids on different night than agreed to in the temporary order. Amelia's Question: I have a 9 month old baby and her father just now started to contact me. How do I let her understand that even though that her dad does not call or come and visit with her, that he may still love her? 2) Does the court still have power over a child if one of the parents moves out of state 3) Can my custody order be modified? He abused me for years up until 2 years ago when we split up. When do the visitation times begin and end? it is his co-parenting time, but if it becomes excessive (in that he is not there 50% of the time) she may request a modification of that part of the order. Can I prevent my kids from being around his girlfriend? Keep track of all the missed visits and make notes with as much detail as possible. I think alternate weekends would be sufficient. If you have a support order, you can't stop the girlfriend from picking up your daughter. She would be traumatized and suffer from separation anxiety. How can he take here away from me? I have to tell you though I think your attitude is not the best for your child. Upon arrival at the child … None of which he has reimbursed. You could try to come up with some suggestions for him. The school year plan is supposed to be worked out by us. Really....all of this boils down to "can't we all just get along"?! Is this legal? Cathy's Question: My ex-husband is supposedly dying; court orders are that my ex is supposed to do supervised visitation, but he hasn't followed through on this in years. CA I have a current court order with visitation rights from Fri 7pm - Sun 7pm. Will the court make my ex have separate bedrooms for the kids? My ex lives only 2 miles away. Susan's Question: We've been trying to work out a 50/50 split visitation for the past month. She does need to learn to go to his home and become comfortable there. My fiancé is not allowed to be around my kids at all. She also needs to be comfortable sleeping there, so start by having naptime there. I have a permanent restraining order against him because he tried to kill me and my unborn daughter. Brette's Answer: I think you need to get some medical evidence to back this up. Doesn't this mean I should have precedence over setting the visitation times? I don't mind if he sees the kids but I want it to be supervised first for a while. What if he's accusing me of alienating the children? Does that include phone calls or am I allowed to call them? What are the stipulations for visitation if he has no running water? The weekends got switched during vacations and we are on a different schedule because of it. There is also drug use at his Mom's house. What if my divorce papers say extended visitation but the court records say regular? Brette's Answer: You're going to have to get someone in there to be able to offer testimony or photos in order to get a court to listen to you. For example, if the parent is instructed in the visitation order to pick up the child at a specific time, and he or she is always late causing emotional distress to the child and inconvenience to the custodial parent, a letter can be sent to the court to have the visitation rules changed or to inform the court that the rules are not being followed. It's important to remember there are usually two sides to every story, particularly when told by a 9 year old. Good luck. Do I have to give him my address if I only have visitation? Instead, try to work out some short visits at a time and place you feel comfortable with. Brette's Answer: You need to keep a journal and take photos with a time/date stamp if possible showing the problems. What if his girlfriend wants to start spending time with my kids? It would gradually increase to a few hours and then eventually to an overnight. Do I have that right as the mother to let him know? I have filed a motion to reverse the conservatorship and a motion for temporary orders, but what are the legal ramifications for such behavior out of the other parent and is it likely that my son will be returned to me? I think you need to file a motion to have visitation altered. The short answer is (generally): No. When my son hit 8, his father tried to get custody and the courts found him unfit morally and I still have sole custody. Alysa's Question: My ex-husband stays at my house on Wednesday nights so the kids don't have to go to his house (I sleep at my boyfriends). Question: I have custody of my 8 years old granddaughter (who has lived with me since birth) because neither parent was fit due to drug usage. He isn't coming to see us anyway. Although 18 months has passed and you are looking to move on with your life, the Court will be looking at what is best for the children. Suzanne's Question: My ex and I have a temporary visitation agreement for our three year old daughter. A lot of kids feel this way at some point, but your dad will always be your dad and it might make sense to find a way to deal with each other. Brette's Answer: It is not breaking the law to do something different than the plan states if you both agree to it. What do I do--deny my ex-husband, or give my son a chance to see his father before his father dies? Brette's Answer: File for modification for his visits to start after sports practice. Could I request the visits take place at a different location instead like his Mother's? If you drive him away, you will one day have to answer to your son. I called my ex to inform her, but couldn't reach her . If he won't agree, you have to go back to court. Can visitation be modified if he's always sick after being at his dad's? The allegations have been investigated, no proof was found and nothing was filed. Brette's Answer: Unless his parents have a grandparent visitation order, they technically have no rights. I can't possibly pump that much and she has never been separated from me overnight. Also you might offer to take them to him and have him drop them off if this is a scheduling problem. He has seen her every Sunday for 3-4 hours at my home since her birth. It takes time to build a relationship and everyone has to be patient. Your children's safety is at stake. They have been dating over a year at this point and she wants to be able to spend time with my children. It's a great way to help everyone ease into the situation. What are my kid's rights if their father has been absent for 6 years? That's a tough one to explain. He still sees our son whenever we go back to that state and I try to give him holidays and summers. If he is still addicted, it may not be safe for your child to be with him. Do I have to let my baby go with his girlfriend if he won't be there? Good luck. Courts do not grant sole custody unless there is a legitimate reason. Her father pays child support, but did not request any visitation rights. Your 20 year old is old enough to provide supervision, so maybe that is the answer. Good luck. Refusing to agree to any visitation time is not reasonable unless there is a serious problem. Thus it’s important that you work closely with a child custody lawyer near you if have any questions or concerns regarding custody or visitation. If a judge finds that it’s in the best interest of your children to change the custody of your kids to the other parent, then the judge can order this. You are going to need people to come in and testify to this. Is visitation enforceable if the other parent is in assisted living? Kris's Question: My dad has been divorced from his ex for many years. Only the court can decide that. It is possible to walk away from your child and realize your mistake and come back and be a real parent. Now he wants them 2 weekends in a row to get on the old schedule. How do I explain to my daughter the best I can that she is not alone even though she does not see her dad. Jo's Question: My ex and I have split custody of our children, but he has denied me access to my son for 7 years. I don't think she should go out of state with him. Both of our children have chronic conditions that require medications daily. That way you appear responsive yet shut it down. More importantly, they can place the child in situations that are not ideal for them. When she turned 1, my ex stopped wanting anything to do with her. It takes time to develop a relationship with a parent you've never met before. If she has not harmed or threatened your child, there is nothing you can do. I think you need to get an attorney whom you can sit down with and carefully go over everything that has happened, examine what kind of a record exists and talk about how to move forward in a way that will not put you in a tenuous position, but will also protect your daughter. He is mad at me because I won't get intimate with him, so now he won't let me see my kids unless he is there. No. Jessica's Question: My 10 year old daughter just met her biological father 5 months ago, and they are attending supervised visitations. It is a difficult transition. Am I correct? Every weekend with one parent is not generally done. If you pick them from his mother's house, he cannot say you kidnapped them if you are exercising your court ordered visitation rights. How can we do 50/50 visitation if his work schedule won't allow it? He has Wednesdays and every other weekend. Heather's Question: After 12 years of marriage and 4 children together, my husband told me that he didn't love me anymore and left me for another woman. » Return to top. My question is what motion can I file to stop visitation until he is medically trained and what proof do I need? It is possible the stress of the transition is what is affecting his health - some kids do not manage transitions well. Brette's Answer: Take a photo. Can I deny visitation if he's threatened to kidnap our children? Audrina's Question: I have a divorce decree that does not specify visitation. Do I have to let his wife pick up the kids for visitation? Am I legally obligated to let him pick them up at a later time when he just "shows up"? How is this going to affect our son? People can change a lot in 8 years, so there is the chance he might be a different person now. This is going to come down to a he said she said situation and the judge is going to decide who is more believable. If he's bringing them home early a lot of the time, maybe he would like to change the schedule to just Saturday every other weekend or maybe one weekend a month. Could she do something legal against us for trying to contact her or her kids? Get Expert Advice About Divorce and Custody! I think it is wonderful that you've agreed he will have her one day a week while you work. Call and ask if they have a car seat expert - most do. Summer's Question: What can I do to keep my 9 year old son from having dramatic visitation with his dad? Ask for a law guardian to be appointed to represent the children. Should my boyfriend be seeing his kids every day of the week? He doesn't deserve to see him, whether or not he wants to. What can we do if the child is miserable due to visitation? Good luck. What can I do? Then you feel your child's pain and ache for the rejection he or she is feeling. Then I would do some visits at his home for a few hours and gradually increase them. You should get an attorney who can help you do that. Will he get visitation rights because I've filed for child support? Brette's Answer: It does not sound like your order requires you to respond, although honestly you could simply keep pasting in the same response, something along the lines of "X's therapist does not recommend contact at this time." It might help her to see a therapist. Since she is acting in response to the father, than she can pick up the daughter. Who pays for the transportation would be decided by looking at who has paid for it in the past. 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